today is the date in the hebrew calendar when jews celebrate "ester saving her nation from the king's decree."
first the short story of the wine.
1, in ninth grade after the story of ester and eating brekfast of dry flakes i was a guest at the home of a rabbi.
he announced to the other guests that he will not serve any food until i... the ninth grader drink a full cup of wine. was i happy to drink wine? nope i argued and the other guests compained that i was causing the delay "just drink a cup of wine." so i agreed...
the rabbi brought a RESTAURANT size "large" cup and emptied the wine bottle into the giant cup and said "you agreed to drink so get to it." i argued that i would drink throughout the meal gradualy but the rabbi insisted "my house you do what i say" and demanded nobody eats until i drink the whole cup... so i tried and sweet wine is not "sweet nor pleasant"... i stopd and the other guests started shouting "drink it already" they wanted their chicken.
i raised the cup again to my lips... and sloshed it on the white shirt of the rabbi... as he hollerd in frustration i ran around him and out the door. i walked back to the dorm and the alcohol made me dizzy. ninth graders should not drink wine even after eating grain flakes.
now the longer story of the two losers.
2, when i was a teen i was foold that i was obligated to "fast" with no food nor water the day before the celebration named purim. i did not notice the ABSENCE of that religious law in the story of ester. when they established a feast "only that had a source" they did establish a feast and joy. the claim to fast has no source and opposes the idea of feasting.
since i lived in the dorm of a religious school i relied on the meals provided by the school hence on this day the school saved money and did not serve meals... since the rabis taught we must fast.
i sufferd all day from hunger and felt awful not even water... because i trusted the rabbis who foold me. only later i would notice that even the rabbis of the rabbinic book mishna never obligated any fast day with this festival. so i suffered, without th ereligious value of religious fast literally for nothing all day from hunger and felt "far from joy" and even dizzy from thirst.
when the darkness finally came i expected to EAT... same as every other jewish fast... NOPE. the school did not serve supper due to the custom to read the story of ester in hebrew... a long story many chapters... the first year i was too STUPID to drink water, between... and i did not know the precise time that the fast ended, in order to drink water, between, after the fast ended but before the story.
oh the story felt VERY so long... many chapters... and after a fast it dragd on and on... and on when a summary would have been BETTER... see below, and worse the delay was intensified due to the custom every time they heard the name haman which they MUST read and must hear, they would bang and make noise for a minute or more to "boo" at the villain.
since that name appears more than FIFTY times, 51, add FORTY minutes beyond the long story... all while i sufferd from hunger, was dizzy from thirst and sincerely believed that i must fast... yet... i knew the fast had ENDED same as every other jew-fast-day at darkness...
i am amazed that i stayed in that awful religion for many years and those experiences did not chase me away.
finally after they read the whole story... words... thousands... 5300 words with the story:
"the king replaced his queen with another lady, Esther. the king decreed "kill the jews". ester wanted to save her nation. she invited the king to a feast. there she begd "spare my nation". king decrees jews can fight. when the jews won the battle they established a feast." a summary fifty words 1% suffices for the main points. why he replacd the queen could be "any argument"
at the pace of 120 hebrew words per minute, 5300/120=44 minutes plus with the delay of banging, finally after two hours, we could go to the dining room to eat... but the pain intensified when the food was SOLD for money and i did not have money because i was in a dorm !! that provided meals... other days.
so i askd a frend what can i do if i cant buy food in the dining room and he said "no problem buy from a shop."
apparently he did not understand my question... or was already drunk... jew rabbis teach "praiseworthy to drink much wine on this purim festival."
gross.
especially for age 13-17.
i used my calling card to phone my parents and ask them to arrange money for me to buy food. they argued "you dont need money because the school gives meals" so i repeated the school is not giving a meal they are SELLING. i recall my dad's response "so skip a meal"... i felt trauma that he ignored this was after fasting all day. he hung up so i diald again. my ma said she would call someone at the school to arrange it.
i waited and while the other teens ATE and drank wine i waited for someone to bring me money to buy supper. a dollar per bread roll and a second dollar per hotdog together 2 dollars while i knew at the restaurant one dollar bought both the hotdog and the bun in the 1990's and even cheaper before the dollar weakend.
finally the rabbi who my parents called, found me and geve me a five dollar bill as a loan to pay back later. so i went to buy supper and "no change"... he had plenty of singles kuz everyone else paid with single dollars... but policy no change... so everyone else knew and paid with single dollars... so i spend all five, a bun, two hotdogs and two cups of popcorn. the hotdogs on an empty stomach made me nauseated... so i had water and popcorn to calm my stomik... next year i would be prepared... so i hoped.
the other brats were already dancing in circles due to finishing their meals and three teens vomited the purple wine they drank, at around the same time making a huge puddle that the other kids continued dancing around. gross... but it seems funny now.
then i searched for one of the polite kids and noticed he was not dancing. so i went to his dorm room and it was empty.
so i went to the "prayer chamber". and there he sat reading the books of the rabbis. i looked over his shoulder and saw he was reading the section of the rabbi talmud about reading the story of ester. that was less nauseating than dancing in a circle with wild teens on a wine-sugar-high...
so i mimicd the polite kid and started studying that section of talmud. i nticed that the first section was review i had already studied... after just a few lines i skipd ahead to the section that i had not yet studied. so the two nerds or bookworms read talmud while the wild kids danced in circles.
at one point a kid pasd the window of the prayer chamber singing a prayer in a melody tune that was creepy "Lord make me high... make me high... higher and higher". i knew that meant marijuana.
a few minutes later a chorus pasd the window singing the same song as they walked around the school campus.
soon i was feeling drowsy. so as i stood up to go sleep i noticed the nerd was still studying. well if he could do it... i could do it.
so i studied longer until 11 pm... apparently no "curfew" on the festival so he used it to study. i was too tired and drowsy so i went to sleep skipping even a shower gross.. i always showered every night.
the next morning more hunger... i awoke and prayed and then went to the dining chamber but it was dark and empty everybody but me knew that breakfast will not be served until after the story of ester is read... again the same one that they already read... all five thousand and three hundred words again, as a ceremony they must read it twice the same story twice... well if i MUST... but when will they read it? they will start at 10 am and finish around noon.
if i woulda had "change" of the five-dollars i could go to a shop but no change so i HAD spent all five. so i went to the home of the rabbi and asked to increase the loan and he said nope. your parents only approved five.
i was too stupid to use my laundry coins to buy food so i sufferd.
finally we went to eat breakfast the usual flakes or oatmeal. i ate the flakes dry knowing that the old milk was mixed into the new containers to save space in the frij and prevent wasting the old milk. the joke was... if the old container was almost empty "pour the new milk into the old container because logicly it has MORE space."
haha.
i imagined milk from date 2, poured into the new container marked 3. then the next day the remining mix was poured into the new carton marked 4 and the next day the MIX poured into th enew container... i felt "this contaminates" the new milk. i would not risk the mix so i ate my flkes dry... and the thirst i felt after wards was not a dry mouth but a stomach sensation that i thout was hunger... but did not know until yeasr later was a "flawed signal" for thirst... specificly water for digestion since my stomach was "not wet enough" for dry flakes that soakd all the fluid, the stomik signald the thirst but i did nt know that and considerd that suffering as hunger too.
i askd the nerd when he slept?
he said that he studied all night same as he always did before joining this school. so i asked when he heard the story of ester and he said he read it alone at dawn and slept.
so we were the two losers i suffered from hunger and he sacrificed his sleep... to read a book of talmud that he knew [and i would discover later] MOST of its content was not even about that festival anyway. in fact it was very long book, 60 pages of arguments, and if he would SKIP the parts "off topic" he coulda finished sooner and slept so he was a loser too.
the following year i was prepared.
i researched the time when the "religious day ended" and prepared food in my room to snack between the fast ending and the story... when i went to my room the container was empty some jerk stole my food ON the fast so i had to wait again.
this time i at least drank water, between.
i had money for the supper which i had not earned and with two singles bought only one popcorn cup and one roll. then i prepared for the morning buying a second roll which i stored in a plastic bin.
this year in 1991 i knew that most of the talmud section named "mgila" is not about the festival of ester so i did not study all night. after pryers in the morning i was the only one with food and went to eat my roll... that tasted like soap due to a prank somebody did putting "fragrant soap bars" in my food bin... that would be funny if it did not ruin the food... the roll tasted awful but hunger would be worse... i had bread and water like a prisoner but i had MORE than anybody else.
the third year i made frends with a brat and when the night of the festival came i askd if he would share his food with me BEFORE the story of ester... he refused saying "if i dont eat then you dont eat." some frend i had thout he was. so those are my bitter memories from the "joyous" festival named purim.
if i could warn myself what would i say?
GO TO PUBLIC SCHOOL and separate from that painful religion that is not even from god. it is rules from "human mind source" of rabbis, not messages from the wisdom of god. "simon never said" so you are OUT.
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